her voice

He asked her what is the color of – 
her voice.

and the story of what season does it
tell.

What does it smell like.
What does it taste like.

***

And she replied
It's the color of fire
telling the story of winter
smells like rain
tastes like the brown earth

***

(1)
أسمك إمرأة
صوتك صوت المطر
رائحتك النسيم
مشيتك الزمن
سائلة بدمي
دائماً وأبداً


(2)
طيري قريباً للشمس
فإن ﻻ تحترقي
لم تعيشي!
إحترقي
عيشي

(c) khulud khamis, Haifa 2013

Learning to Fly

Where is this – 
Hatred coming from
Like fire
Unleashed.

Hatred?
Or – 
Envy!

Is it because –
She was made of you.
But dared to reach up
For the branches
And then learned to –
Fly?

While you kept your wings
Tucked underneath
The whole life through.

Only because
You feared
Falling down

Or –
Was your fear greater
That of succeeding to –
fly?

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

CONTEXT

some political thoughts on the context within which we live:

Palestinians constitute a national minority living within the green line, and ever since the Nakba in 1948, they have had ambiguous relations with the state. On the one hand, we are legally full citizens of the state. On the other hand, we are continuously discriminated against through systemic policies and racist legislations. There is clear discrimination in allocations of resources in all fields - education, health, land, infrastructures, public transport, etc. Not only that, but due to this systemic discrimination, our accessibility to resources such as education, housing, employment, social services, health services, economic opportunities and more are very limited.

Alongside these practices, there are dangerous political processes happening which threaten our collective national identity. The state makes great and strategic efforts to deconstruct our identity and sense of belonging through various means, such as restricting our right to commemorate the Nakba, through school curricula, trying to recruit our youth to the National Civic Service, legislation proposals to give those who did National Civic Service extra rights and incentives in different fields, and more. Furthermore, our freedom of expression is restricted, thus reducing our public, political, social and democratic spaces, and many social change leaders and activists are politically persecuted.

The abovementioned factors constitute only a partial background to our complex reality, which affects the abilities of Palestinian social change organizations to act and effect genuine and sustainable social change in our community. More specifically, this reality has unique effects on our youth which, combined with our still traditional and patriarchal society, poses great challenges on their sound development.

The education system, school curricula, and contents taught are controlled by the state, thereby restricting the development of a Palestinian identity among our youth. Furthermore, the education system today does not provide youth with tool for critical thinking. Political, social and economic issues are ignored, and contexts relevant to youth's lives are not dealt with at all. When they finish high school, there is almost no guidance regarding higher education options, how to choose the right profession according to interests, tools on integration into higher education, etc.

Another issue affecting our youth is the geographic fragmentation. The more than 1.5 million Palestinians living within the green line are geographically fragmented, with three major concentrations of communities: in the Galilee (North), Triangle (Center) and the Naqab (South). Many youth, who live in geographic and socio-economic peripheries (e.g. unrecognized Bedouin villages in the South or from remote villages in the Galilee), do not have the opportunity to meet other youth from other parts of the Palestinian community. This reality affects their ability to develop solidarity across all segments of Palestinian society; solidarity that is larger than their own small local circle, which is necessary if we wish to build a strong and resilient society that is united, has a strong sense of belonging and reciprocal social responsibility.

fragmented Haifa poetry no. 4 - June 2013

fragmented - 1 

My Haifa 
* stairs * scorching sun * racism * sound of waves at night * destruction * colors * mountain * languages * immigrants * topography * marginalization * gardens * hatred * rain * co-existence / non-existence * sound of planes * train * LGBTQI * friends * trees * prostitution * fires in the Carmel * discrimination * poetry * religion * my favorite trumpet player at the corner * so many churches * poverty * music * Carmelit * collision * 

***

fragmented - 2
the words are bubbling under my skin.
break through, burst out - 
onto the page.

***

fragmented - 3

just drag me from the outside in.
beyond the -
within.

*** 

fragmented - 4

Copy this – 
Body.
With all its wrinkles and comforts
All imperfections 
But also
The perfections.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

My Haifa - poem III [American-made toys invading my airspace]

The voice of your –

Masterfully crafted

American made

Toys.

Invading my head

Over the Haifa skies

Invading my very own –

airspace.

Ironic.

My neighbors can –

Only sleep in peace

With these

American-made

Toys – overhead.

Oh – The greatest lie

Of security.

And I just wish –

I could for once

Write to a

Different music.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

My Haifa - poem no. II

Like a lover,
You betrayed me.
Promising to contain – 
Me.

Like a betrayer,
You turned your mountain
To me.
And hid the sea.

Like a true friend
I remained
Within you.
Refused to leave.

Like the fool
My heart skips a beat
At the prospect
That one day –

You will be mine
And also theirs.

Because your mountain
Your sea
Your stairs
Your humidity and scorching sun

Are enough to contain
The us and the them.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

My Haifa

It's your Topography

Makes me sense –

Home.

It's your Shatwet Nisan

Makes me smell –

Roots.

It's your stairs

Make me

Walk you.

It's your sea

Makes me

Wild.

It's your humidity

and

It's your scorching sun.

It's your name

Makes me know

You are within me.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

ripened fruit

(1)
A long time – 
Ago
You discovered.
Smelled, tasted.
Blown away by the magic.
It was still – 
Too big
For your fragile size.

(2)
Twenty two years
Ago –
You were
The –
Unripe fruit.
But it was a –
Beginning.
And we all have to –
Begin with a first.
Step.

(3)
Ten years ago –
They said
It's no good.
Give it up.

(4)
You didn't listen.
Not to them
Not to yourself.
Drawn by the magic.

(5)
A year ago.
It was completed.
By blood
Insomnia
Giving up
Giving in
Hanging on
With the last scream!

(6)
Today.
The fruit has ripened.
Those who said
It's not good
Give it up
Are –
Sitting back.
In awe.
Of the blood
The strength
The sweet, ripe fruit.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

"I am danger"

(1) 
I am the – 
Fire.
My red flames – licking
Threatening to devour
You whole.

(2) 
I am the – 
Opium.
You smoke me
Dangerous
Addictive.

(3) 
I am the –
Dragon.
I will –
Destroy
You.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

living through the words - not enough sometimes

an enlightenment: 
even those living through words
are - 
sometimes

lost for words.

for there are -
one would be
surprised (!)

things (well, not really things, but something else)
which are so deep

that no -
words
could
ever
reflect

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

beyond the skin

just so...

(1) 
seashells
broken glass

listen
look through

(2) 
rain
rays

taste
feel

(3) 
breathe
live

beyond
your skin

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

Beautiful exactly as you are

I met one of the sweetest 18 year old young women today. She stood in my kitchen while I prepared a salad, so full of energy, so thirsty for life. I don't usually feel very comfortable opening up or even talking to people I've only met about broad issues. I like to keep things neutral and just on the surface. But thing young woman was just all over the place with her enthusiasm to talk about so many issues at the same time. I was tickled how much in common I have with her and how comfortable it felt to talk to her. She's just the kind of a person around whom you feel you could talk about anything, and she pulls you into it. Without even noticing it, we went from Frida Kahlo to Dali to painters to writing and then we were each talking about our own writing.

This young 18 year old woman is full of original ideas and original thinking, creative, funny in a positive way, makes one smile and laugh. When she talks, her eyes twinkle and her whole body responds.

Almost at the very beginning of our meeting, she told me that when she was a small boy, (s)he was with her (his) mother shopping, and (s)he was a beautiful shawl and asked her (his) mother if (s)he could buy it for her (him). Her (his) mother said: "yes, but don't tell dad."

She is a transgender. A beautiful, witty, funny, creative, pleasant, very smart and original young woman. She captured my heart with her smiles and life energies.

This is why we need to raise our voice loud and clear against transphobia, homophobia, lesbophobia, and any other phobia. So that people like her can thrive, fulfill their dreams, smile, laugh, and live their lives without fear of any kind of violence due to their gender.

writing scripts onto the body

(1) scripts on bodies

you have written

a script.

onto your –

body.

Tunis(ia)

is roaring.

where were you

men!

I do not

hear you –

roaring

when –

women are

denied

rights.

I do not

hear you –

roaring

when –

women are

raped

battered

violated

imprisoned

killed

treated like –

discarded objects.

just because –

we are born

women.

five words –

written a script

onto the body

and you roar.

Amina has shown us all –

what you are

all

about.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

***

(2) the body

the body

my body

such a powerful –

entity.

it seems that –

it can

move mountains

cause revolutions

it can also

have me –

locked up

in a psychiatric

institute.

for what –

for five words

written onto it.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

words on the spot - untitled

(1) - untitled

you say you want

me –

this way and

that.

you in your –

black gray

clothes.

me in my –

red sneakers

purple and black hoody

green scarf

pink and grey striped socks

and red sweat pants.

well.

you are so –

calculated.

every step.

I am so not.

but the truth –

is.

I enjoy my –

chaotic

world in color

so much more –

than

you do

your –

black and grey

world.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

***

(2) - untitled

because

what do we –

take with

us

to the grave.

two things only.

our memories

and –

our

smiles.

for this reason

I

want to –

experience

feel

taste

all the colors –

there are

in the universe

and all the colors

that have

not

yet

been invented.

(c) khulud khamis, 2013

lost in translation

parts of my identity

have

been –

for some (un)identifiable

reason

lost in translation.

Floating between –

the languages

in a –

void

between the –

continents.