16 November 2011


When I saw you for the first time – down there in the library, I was mesmerized.
Mesmerized by your beauty, the softness of your movements, the way you held the pen between your fingers, and the way you leaned on your elbow. The whisper of your voice.
You made me break my silence with –
the flutter of your eyelashes, like a confused butterfly.

But I knew you are not for me – I was sure of this.
So I just smashed the feelings into the corner of my stomach.

And then… all of a sudden, you surprised me the other night… leaving a small opening for me…
Will I dare to…
Or was this opening just a teasing? Was it just a joke to torture me?

That night, I went to bed with your name softly making its way into my body. The rhythm of it.
And the last thought before giving way to the other world – was that of tasting your lips.

All this is brand new, brand fresh for me… don’t think I’m a master of it just because I dare come closer… my whole body is shaking from excitement, but also fear…

Will you come and sit here with me in this Diwan, let me hold you, let your hair loose and let me caress it… just softly walk my fingers up and down your shoulder… only this, and a soft kiss of your lips… nothing more. I promise.

And if you don’t want to – that is alright with me too.

(c) all rights reserved to khulud kh, 2011


  1. Is this based on a true story (just curious)? Hugs, hope to see you on X-mas!

  2. you know, dear, curiosity killed the cat :)
    but seriously now - this is one of the beauties of being a writer. you can write anything you want, make things up or document your own experience, and no one will know... so let's leave the readers to wonder about this one (and many more)...
    hugs back at you.

  3. I agree about the readers, but don't forget the law that writers have to tell each other the truth in secret, when the readers are not listening...

  4. bettina! I've NEVER heard about this law....

  5. wow this is indeed moving touching and making me curious. very sensitive and sensual. lucky she.

  6. talma: "lucky she" in case this is based on a true story, like Bettina "demanded" to know.
    fortunately (maybe unfortunately for some of my readers), this will remain a mystery and you are welcome to think what you like about this.
    In either case - once the written text is out there, the writer loses complete control over its meanings... :)

  7. hold your horses...it's not so tragic nor automatic. it is still your text and your story.
    i will always use the female noun if not specified- this is my feminist activism via terminology mainly in israel where it is all devided and majority or pluriel is male. so...
    anyway lucky the person who is concerned.

  8. talma darling - I wasn't talking about the gender of the person. that I accept of course and agree with you. I was talking about the question if this is a "true" or a "fiction" story... and this will remain a mystery :)

  9. i don't care about....S


  11. talma bubi - S. is not necessarily the same person as the one I am mesmerized by. and again, you can never know with writers what is fiction and what is reality.
    and of course - you are always more than welcome to my diwan, it will be my pleasure for you to put your head in my lap and for me to caress your curls :)

  12. ok i give up.
    i am mezmerised by the sea
    by hoe much empowered you got and use it beautifully for your writings

  13. That's the most beautiful comment talma! It's true, if it weren't for isha, I don't think I would ever dare publish something like this publicly. Thank u so much, and yes, of course I am mesmerized by the sea :-)


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