10 January 2010

Sitting on the Fence

so you've left - again.
the house is heavy with silence. emptiness.
I walk around - picking up the remains.
so what's left of five years?
not much.
some dictionaries (useless to me, German, Italian)
some documents (not too important, I guess, otherwise you'd have taken them with you)
and one pair of yellow shorts (can't wear them)
and that's it.
all of five years - in one box.
not too heavy, either.

In a frenzy of need, I cut my hair.
for a new beginning.
and I climbed a fence.
with a thermos of tea, a sweater and a pillow
and a ladder from a friend to help me climb (thank you Yali).

I'm new on this fence... waiting, rethinking my... [fill in the blanks].
on the other side of the fence, a completely new universe.
something I've thought of before,
but never dared.

I will need my thermos of tea, and the sweater,
and the pillow.
I have a feeling I'll be sitting here for a while.
thinking about the possibilities.

and maybe...
just maybe...

[to be continued when I figure out on which side of the fence the wind will land me]


  1. well it made me sad for some reason
    i think the first part is stronger than the second (first till i cut my hair) but the idea is beautiful. is it part of the book or independant?fill in the blanks is something i hope you won't leave written in the peace. it's not good to chew for the readers. trust their intelligence to understand when you put ....

  2. endings are sad, but they are the birth of a beginning... i hope the wind carries to you to places beautiful!

  3. hmmm.. you are getting better with age, or should i say with experience? might join you on that fence though.. any room for a good friend?? will bring my own blanket since im not that fond of pillows nor tea..


  4. hmmm... sure there's plenty of room for a good friend. come and join me... whoever u are [though I have a gut feeling I know who this is, "maybe"?]

  5. Khulud, how painful. You did the right thing to cut your hair. It's a way for you to declare that a new beginning has arrived. I wish you all the best... though no wishes ever suffice in times of great need.


  6. Dear Khulud:

    Painful as Nevine said. One has the urge to do something that is brand new and I guess you did just that. That makes one feel in control and command.

    I remember piercing my ears the second time when I was in such pain but then now the hole has disappeared. Everything will disappear like that dear Khulud. New beginnings are painful but then they have to happen to make us resilient.

    I am standing by you to listen, comfort and encourage.

    Passion, courage and joy always,

  7. thank you all for the support, which is greatly needed at the moment. I am submitting myself to change, however difficult it is to let go... but that's life. full of surprises, and once we feel we are on solid ground, it suddenly gives way...


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