6 December 2011

I REFUSE (or: on unpaid, indefinite leave from the conflict)

I was told the other day I’m using the strategy of “escapism,” as I claimed that I don’t have time to read the news! Now, that’s interesting. There are more racist laws being put on the Knesset table, the democratic space is shrinking right before our eyes, the next war is being planned out in the open, and what do I do? I write love poems! I don’t write any posts condemning what is happening, I’m not commenting on the Iranian “threat,” nada! I even stopped following the news. I have crawled into my seashell and decided that all that matters now is to write that perfect love poem. To find those elusive words that express that which words cannot express. Like being “intoxicated by the letters of – your name in my blood.” There you go! Words expressing that which cannot be expressed. Conflict? Nuclear weapons? Democracy under threat? Racist legislation? Now really – it’s the same old same old. And anyway – how much of this shit can one mind contain?! And didn’t I already say that I have taken unpaid, indefinite leave from the conflict? So for a while now – all I will be posting is love poems and fragments of my novel-in-progress. You don’t like that? That’s your problem, and to be honest, deal with it. And if you don’t deal with it, see who cares! Like seriously now – am I expected to put my dreams hopes goals loves on pause until all this shit ends? Am I supposed to be immersed in it and stink from it 24/7? Well – I REFUSE!!! I want to love I want to write I want to dream I want to love I want to be left alone I want to be me!

(c) all rights reserved for khulud kh (2011)


  1. khulud this peace smells like defensive writing so i guess you are mainly angry about yourself and have to convince yourself it is ok.

  2. not angry at myself at all. angry at this reality that is getting in the way of my life.

  3. reality in general and certainly the one in israel is hell

  4. I believe the secret of making arts amidst any reality is by learning to observe this reality rather than taking part in it. That includes self-observation. And of course, reality is not limited to what is in the news. Politics is just one of a million ways to view reality, and since too many people have already limited their thinking to that perspective, I don't see why you, or me, should join them. It is difficult to escape the political worldview, though. I try the following exercise: When I think of a country, I try not to think of the political situation but of the animals and plants who live there. It can have fascinating results!

  5. thanks Bettina for your understanding! Yes, I might just do that - animals & plants... hmmm... not a bad idea :)
    I'll try it and see where it takes me


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