16 December 2009
I am coming out tonight. I am making my secret yearning public. A yearning that's been burning in my bones for years now.
A few years back I won a poetry prize from the University of Haifa for some poems I'd written. The following day I decided I'm going to write a book. I took a year off my Master's studies and spent the whole year writing. But then life caught up with me - I went back to my studies and between raising a daughter, studying, and working I all but abandoned my dream.
My manuscript has been lying on the shelf for a number of years now. Every few months I go back to it, and with difficult emotions, I reread some parts. Sometimes I even take up a pencil and do some editing.
I have accepted the fact that the work is very virgin. Most of it needs to be reworked.
Today I feel I have matured as a writer, and I am ready to embark on the journey of writing a novel. A few nights ago, I opened a blank word document and spent a couple of hours writing. I turned off the computer at around 4:30 am [I suffer from insomnia, and anyway my creative writing is best at these small hours of the night], having written almost two pages.
The following day I reread these two pages - and I felt that this is it. It's a good start, and I even had a female character popping up all on her own.
I've been walking around with a small notebook in my bag, frantically writing some notes to elaborate on later on. I feel that this time, the novel has got a strong hold of me. It is struggling to breathe on its own, not letting me have too much control.
So I think these are all signs that the time has come. The time has come for me to make a real commitment.
I promise myself not to let go this time. I promise myself to write something - anything - each and every night.
Hopefully I will have some parts to share with you soon - that is, if you are interested.
This is my promise to myself. This is my promise to the story that is struggling to be read.